Today Is My Birthday

Another year had gone by and as I woke up that morning, I knew that it was going to be a memorable day.

Even though several winters had marked my feeble heart and scarred my bright pupils, my heart pumped like never before.

I had always completed my morning routine, to a point in which if any of its steps was cut short, partially altered, or omitted, my day would lag. Resulting in a bitter aura that would affect others around me. I knew by then, that people would, sort of tolerate me, for I had earned their respect little by little. Yet, I was aware of the slow-motion wounds that I would inflict to the innocents in my way. 

I took no pleasure in doing this. But I have to admit that bearing the scars made me feel more like a war hero. People generally tend to admire and respect those, and won't ask questions. Even if they talked behind my back, it felt like an ego boost. Secretly, until that day.

The alarm clock went off as expected. It was 5:00am on that cold spring day. You could smell the wet dirt from the garden outside. I took a look out of the window just to catch a whiff of that glorious scent that sent me down memory lane.

The earliest memory I have about wet dirt and rain is from back in my hometown. I must have been 6 or seven years old. But that story is for another time.

I spent several minutes flooded with memories while reluctantly trying to shut the window off. It was something that I had forgotten to do in quite a long time. My life had become a never-ending cycle that I kept on repeat. Wake up, hot shower, get dressed, freshly brewed coffee with milk and no sugar, work, work, work, and beer in the evening to kill the stress away. Bedtime came before midnight and then it all started all over again. I was caught in a neverending loop of what an adult should do for the rest of their productive life.

But not that day. That day would change my life forever. Not only was I older, but everything was about to change forever.

I closed the window and walked to the bathroom. As I was crossing the hallway I heard several frantic bangs on my apartment's door.

Help!, Someone shouted. Bang, bang bang. Help me, a female's voice full of pain and fear broke into the privacy of my safe place. She shouted again. Please, open the door! her voice was breaking.

It was around 5:13am. Who could that be?, I thought. What's going on, I said while trying to get closer to the entrance door. Who are you? I asked.

Bang, bang bang. Again, three loud bangs at the door. No more shouting. Just three loud bangs.

Who is this? I said flinching. Nothing. This time there was nothing. No more bangs. No more pleads. Just nothing. And nothing was even scarier. Darker. Nothing, just an empty void.

I moved slowly towards the door. Like a moth to the flame. I wasn't thinking straight. I was scared. I was baffled by the whole situation. Could it be the neighbor?. They had always seemed like a nice couple. They had always greeted me whenever we would run into each other at the elevator. No, it couldn't have been her. And if it wasn't her, who the fuck was it at this time. 

I reached the door. I gently and without noisy pressed my left ear and temple against the door. Just for a second. Just to try to understand what was happening.

Bang, bang. Just two loud bangs this time. I was terrified. Hello? I whispered as I moved my head towards the peephole just to see nothing. Dawn was approaching, so in the meantime, the darkness reigned supreme. Nothing. Nothing was out there to be seen. I was petrified. 

Please help me! she whispered as if it had been her last breath. I am here outside, she continued. Please, she begged. 

I didn't know what to do. Fuck, what was I supposed to do? What if she wasn't out there alone?, What if her assailant was waiting for me to open to attack me too. What if it was a prank?. What if  I didn't do anything and she died, would they prosecute me for not having helped her?

I looked up and gathered myself. I breathed in and out trying to control my racing heart.

I reached for the door lock and turned it as quietly as I could. Then, I gently grabbed the door handle and opened the door. I peeked outside. God was wearing black that day.